Agony
by Takianna
Summary: What if following orders wasn't just a mental choice?


CC-7567 had been called to do what was required of him. The order had been handed down and Captain Rex had received a call to gather for a march against the jedi temple. It was a call that he had ignored. The first order he had let himself disregard.

Rex saw that Order 66 was not what it had claimed to be. The jedi were NOT taking over. They had merely become an obstacle to Chancellor Palpatine's agenda. An agenda which had been set in motion when the clones had been ordered and had started maturing inside their decanting tubes.

When he ignored the order, Rex was not prepared for what would happen to him. Mentally, Rex thought he as prepared for the effects. There was the constant paranoia of being discovered. Rex had chosen his hiding place randomly, as he had passed by. The small alcove provided him a vantage point to note troop movements, but he was well hidden from the main thoroughfares.

As he huddled in the alcove, his body stripped of it's telltale white and blue armor, Rex listened to the sounds of blaster fire. It sounded so far from him, but so familiar. Familiar enough to be the beating of his own heart. It played tricks with Rex's mind as he thought he heard the clicking of clone armor nearby. He jerked his head around to peer in the opposite direction.

Rex was met with nothing but the dusty colors of twilight. He rubbed his eyes wearily. He'd been standing for so long that his body ached. If only he could move just an inch, but his position was the best to keep watch. Rex knew that if he didn't find somewhere more permanent to stay, he would be dead at the hands of one of his brothers.

Rex stepped into the alley, his black undersuit the only sign to the naked eyes that he was military. Inside he felt like a finely tuned machine on the edge of exploding into precision movements which could kill a man where they stood. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he thought about his abilities. They were all ordered so well and that was precisely how it had been engineered by the Chancellor.

It was ironic that those who benefitted from those abilities were now dying as a result of the skills. He couldn't believe how his own brothers had turned their blasters towards the general who had fought so valiantly to keep them safe. Rex's stomach started to knot at the thought of Generals Skywalker and Kenobi and what could've happened to them. They were skilled in combat though and he couldn't think about them now.

He moved more quickly, seeking a place to shelter himself until he could come up with a plan. A plan, he hoped would get him off the planet and quickly. Although he didn't know what he would do once he got away.

Choosing a building, Rex tried the archaic door handle. The lock clicked and the door opened to let it's light splash against the alley's far wall. Rex slipped inside and closed the door silently behind him. The landing and stairwell were deserted. Many people were merely going about their daily lives as jedi were being slaughtered right on the same planet.

Moving up the stairs, Rex checked all the angles on the next landing, pointing his blasters at all the areas people could be hiding. Nothing. He let his shoulders relax and began looking down the hall for a room to hide himself.

He tried several doors, but the maglocks were all engaged. Finally he accessed a door. Entering slowly, Rex's hand grasped his blaster confidently. He knew that he could handle whatever came his way.

The interior of the room was dark and bare of all furnishings. There seemed to be no one living there. Rex had stumbled on a good hiding place by luck or the force, depending on who you talked to. Moving quickly to the door, Rex engaged the lock with a satisfying click. He strode back to the room's window and peered out into the lights of Coruscant. From here it didn't look so bad. He could barely see the signs of any clone insurrection, but he knew that it had happened.

Rex slid down to a sitting position, his back resting against the cold wall. His knees were pulled up and he rested his right arm on his knee, blaster at the ready. The door would be the point of an enemy's entry. He knew the clone troopers well and he knew what their tactics would be. He was their worst nightmare. Rex wanted to make sure that if they came to get him, he would take as many as he could with him.

Closing his eyes briefly, the former captain let fatigue wash over him. To feel the feelings which he'd put away so that they wouldn't distract him from finding a safe place. Now he really felt the pain of betrayal. All those men he had fought with in battle were now his enemy. He felt the tears begin to rise in his throat, but he would not let them be shed from his eyes. Rex had to be strong.

His eyes flew open as a click sounded from somewhere outside the the locked door. The grip on his blaster tightened and his index finger slid easily into firing position. The trigger was a natural resting place for it. It had been there so many times before and done the duty which was required of it. That finger had killed so many droids and Seps that he couldn't even begin to guess a number.

There was no further sound and he released his grip, relaxing his muscles once again.

Rubbing a hand over his face, Rex got to his knees and crawled to the small computer access port on the wall. He needed to access the network for more information. Although he wasn't exactly sure how he would accomplish much without a slicer. Rex had never been good with data retrieval. A good blaster pointed at the head of the right person was the best data retrieval he could produce. He liked doing it that way too.

Rubbing his eyes, Rex was starting to wonder if he would ever get off this rock. There were so many obstacles to overcome. Rex didn't feel he could gather the strength to fight much more. He never thought he would be at this point of complete desperation. It had not been so long ago that he had been fighting shoulder to shoulder with General Skywalker. He'd been so useful. So happy.

Suddenly as his stomach betrayed him, he was bent over, his body retching up bile. The small puddle between his hands growing with every repetitive spasm of his stomach. He tried to keep the sounds of his vomiting inaudible, lest he be discovered by the tenants of the buidling.

Finally his stomach calmed as much as possible and he plopped onto his backside with a loud thud. His mouth felt disgusting and full of acid. What was happening to him?

Rex slid onto his back and ran his hand over his bald head. It was prickled with sweat. He felt cold and although he was in his temperature control suit, the shivers of his body started small and then increased. Rex wrapped his arms around his stomach and tried to comfort himself

Self comfort came naturally to clones. They had no mothers and therefore found small ways to make themselves feel better. Rex had spent countless hours in the night as a child comforting himself by hugging his stomach. Every clone had a different tick which helped to make them feel better. He had learned to hide it early. Kaminoans didn't like the clones to exhibit much individuality and self comfort had no place in their perfect world.

Rex wasn't getting any better, no matter how much he tried to comfort himself. He rocked side to side as his stomach threatened to turn inside out again. He groaned, keeping it to a low inaudible sound, as his body shook violently with the chills.

Never had he thought that conditioning to carry out orders would have physical side effects. Rex hadn't followed orders and now his body was threatening to shut down. He knew that it would succeed too. His last few days or hours would be spent in agony. The Chancellor had covered all his bases by making sure dissenting clones would not survive to rally against him.

Rex was happy with his choice to disregard that first order, knowing that the agony he now felt was his badge of honor.


End file.
